Just a thought.
I think I might actually do lots of things better than just think about you.
Once again, I recognize that I mean nothing to you and therefore I should not bother myself from doing any stuff related to you. It might be hard, I know, but I must very well do it anyways.
Don't worry, I'll still be here.
Just don't expect me to be still crazy over you.
Nope, not this time.



I never want to leave you but is staying really worth it?
Sometimes I want to give up but I had been holding on for so long I'm not sure whether its the right time to let go.

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I don't know what to think anymore. I've always been sure of my thoughts, my emotions, my feelings but I was never entirely sure about you.
Well, maybe I was. Yes I was sure about you at some point but now I can't even fathom what would happen next between us. I know I was never part of your world, but you were a part of mine. I might even mean nothing to you but honestly, you mean too much to me that every time I think of letting you go, just the thought of it makes me sulk. -_-

I don't know... Err, maybe I'm just thinking too much, thinking too hard.
Ever since I became enthralled about you, expectations were always what I avoided because I know I'm never gonna get any. And it was a good decision, really, it kept my sanity and up to now, I never really expected anything. But now that I'm starting to realize that I fell even more deeper, I'm afraid that  I wouldn't be able to climb back.
Your eyes are like a whirlpool to me, every time I look at you I just can't seem to look away and somehow I feel like I'm spinning and spinning and I don't know where I'll end up.
Your touch, oh my how can I even start to describe that. Well, uhm, every time a tip of your skin touches mine, its like ecstasy, it makes me high.
Small talks, simple gestures & those gummy smiles of yours somehow throws my sanity off the window but I end up looking for it anyways.

OMG I sound like an obsessed individual. :O

Honestly, even if i decide to let you go, that would never come to reality for I know that you are someone who I will always want, someone who I will always love. Like what I always tell myself, I'll just stay here beside you, not too far that you won't feel my presence, not to near that you'll end up chasing me away. I'll be that imaginary friend that you never thought of and whenever you'll be needing me, you know I'll always be there. And when that time comes that I'll find someone who'll love me more than I have loved you, then I guess that'll be the time I'll be slowly drifting away.

Labels: boho, fashion, lookbook, lookbook.nu, school

I've been obsessing with fashion lately and so I decided to make me a lookbook. HAHA! How random can that be? I was never that "fashionista" type although I must admit that I like branded clothing. My mom, who is 57 btw can even pass up as a fashion icon but me, I'm just a plain wallflower. But just recently, I got so immersed in it that I spent all of my summer allowance buying pieces that would look good on me and will put a style vibe all over my presence. At least thats what I thought. Hahahaha. I'm so petty, I know, and forgive me for my french but who gives a shit anyway? 

Labels: fashion, lookbook, lookbook.nu, style

How do I even begin to describe the anger I felt towards this certain person. I can't quite imagine that I was able to hold my temper all throughout the day. I felt so disappointed -_- I'm always straight-forward and I know that I can be harsh sometimes but I'd rather be that person whom everybody hates or avoids than be someone who enjoys backbiting others and pretend like nothing happened. Saying things without thinking sometimes is, I must say, ONE of my weaknesses. Sometimes thoughts that should stay in my head accidentally escapes and before I know it, I just blurted out everything and then thats when I realized that I fucked up. Oh well, being fucked up is part of growing up and I've always believed that through the mistakes we made thats how we can learn best. Going back, this afternoon we're supposed to go on a team-building but due to uncontrolled circumstances we decided to cancel it and before we did, we had to undergo a series of argumentation which I find very very very useless. If listening is so easy then why do we have to learn it? Simple, because its always a battle between deciding whether to listen or not. Most often, we don't intend to listen because we are afraid to realize that we made a mistake or maybe because there's too much pride in our system and that'll hurt our egos if we do. One thing that I kept on repeating during the argument is that you can't please everybody and not everything is all about you. Sometimes or even most of the time, we have to listen and understand what the others are trying to say rather than just listen to what we want to hear. Its never that way. Ever. And sometimes things will not go the way you wanted or planned it to be and you just have to accept that because that's life. If you keep on pushing and pushing something, you'll end up with bad fights and decisions that'll eventually make you feel alone and rejected and then, only then will you realize the real value of listening. Even God patiently listens to our prayers but how come some people just can't do it? Anywho, the conflict was somehow resolved but I'll just be keeping my guard up and expect the worst in the months to come. -_-
On a side note, I'm just happy I can stay at home tonight and lavish the cold weather. *u* I'm gonna be curling up on my sheets and pillow and watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Might do a review after. Teeheee. :D

Labels: arguments, conflicts, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, listen

I believe that it's best to start everything with an introduction. The name's Katrina, 19 and definitely female. LOL. Okay so I started this blog because i just realized how mainstream tumblr is -_- My tumblog is almost 2 years old and I just thought that maybe its way better to rant and express here than there. There are some things that I would want to write about but the fear of someone reblogging your sentiments just hit me in the head. Also, one of my good friend suggested that if you want a little privacy, blogspot is something you should try. So, here I am in this not so strange world of the serious bloggers. LOL. :D